questions

people love to ask questions. shoot, i love to ask questions. why? where? what happened next? how'd you feel? what did it taste like? was it good? when was that? what's the purpose? how do you do this? our whole lives, we've been taught to be inquisitive. to search out. to understand. to learn.
and this can be great. as a "learner" and someone high in "input," i can be queen of question. my mom tells stories of how, when i was little, the first thing out of my mouth each morning was, "what are we doing today?" i struggled with some great questions in my life, academically, spiritually, and some just for fun. i love the pursuit of knowledge. i love "to know."

one of the things i've realized in recent months though is the damage that questions can do. questions carry a lot of weight. and they can have tons of unintended consequences. see, the problem behind questions lies in their answers. you may wonder what i'm talking about, and its hard because i don't really want to overshare on here. but its like this-

say you ask someone how they are doing. simple enough question, right? but the problem lies in what they are going through- the answer they want to give you in their mind. they might be thinking- "i'm not doing good at all. ----- just happened, don't they know?!" instead they offer up an, "i'm good," but your question just reminded them of their pain.

how often do we ask question without really caring about the answer? the question above is a perfect example. how often do i ask "how are you?" when really, i'm just doing the social convention of making small talk. do i really care? and if i do care, what is the purpose of my caring? do i care for you and for your answer? do i care for the simple pursuit of knowledge? do i care because i want to have the tale to tell later? do i care because i believe i have "the right" to know?

it's time i pay attention to my motivations. it's time i show my friends i care by the questions i ask and don't ask.

i've decided to be more intentional in what i ask. this is going to be hard- its much easier to not pay attention. but i have been hurt by questions, and i do not want to inflict the same pain. i don't want my questions to serve as a reminder of someone's inner pain, inner conflict, or inner struggles.

weather.gov

so i like to know things. well, thats kind of an understatement. i really like to know things. my friends have always laughed at the random tid bits of facts i know. and it does seem to be about the strangest things.

back in college, i had the opportunity to take strengthstest, this incredible diagnostic tool that tells you what your five dominant strengths are (out of 34). while i won't go into a whole lot of it (i'll save that for another post), i wasn't surprised at all to find that my top two strengths are learner and input. here's some definitions from their website for you:

"Learner: By nature, you may see some value in continuous education. Perhaps this reflects your interest in particular topics. Sometimes you are fascinated with the process of acquiring knowledge or skills. Chances are good that you simply cannot have too much information. It is impossible. Like a miner searches for gold day after day, you continually collect new bits of knowledge. Depending on your other talents, you can delve into one or two interesting topics, or you can opt to know a little about a wide range of subjects. Your longing for knowledge is unlikely to be satisfied until you are recognized by others as the ultimate expert in a field or the grand champion of trivia. Because of your strengths, you comprehend what has gone wrong. Eagerly, you uncover facts. Sorting through lots of information rarely intimidates you. You welcome the abundance of information. Like a detective, you sort through it and identify key pieces of evidence. Following these leads, you bring the big picture into view. Next, you generate schemes for solving the problem. Finally, you choose the best option after considering prevailing circumstances, available resources, and desiredInput: Chances are good that you choose to associate with people who think big and think smart. Exchanging ideas, concepts, or theories with intelligent individuals exhilarates you. You pull together as many thoughts as possible from these animated conversations. You never know when someone’s question or suggestion will be valuable. You mentally file away or physically document these snippets — that is, small bits — of insight or wisdom for easy retrieval. Driven by your talents, you may memorize vocabulary words that are technical,

outcomes. Driven by your talents, you may be excited about discovering new facts about historic events or key people. Periodically you rely on experts who have conducted in-depth research on certain periods of history. Instinctively, you have little difficulty giving intense effort to projects, problems, or opportunities that capture and keep your attention.

Input: Chances are good that you choose to associate with people who think big and think smart. Exchanging ideas, concepts, or theories with intelligent individuals exhilarates you. You pull together as many thoughts as possible from these animated conversations. You never know when someone’s question or suggestion will be valuable. You mentally file away or physically document these snippets — that is, small bits — of insight or wisdom for easy retrieval. Driven by your talents, you may memorize vocabulary words that are technical, specialized, or job specific. Now and then, what you say or write is beyond the understanding of certain people. Perhaps this provides you with a bit of an advantage over them in conversations. Your elaborate language might surround you with an aura of authority in well-read individual. People whom you have befriended turn to you for guidance. Often you help them see a situation or problem from a different perspective because of something you discovered while surveying a book, article, letter, or Internet site. For you, reading is the key that opens the door to a world of fresh ideas. You collect them, never knowing when something you read will benefit someone else. Instinctively, you read to stimulate your already active mind. You examine new ideas and unfamiliar points of view. You are quite naturally a lifelong student. Often you are your own best teacher. It’s very likely that you may approach your studies or work with dignity and in a businesslike manner. Perhaps it makes sense, therefore, that you know some complicated, technical, or subject-specific words. You might take time to think through whatever you are going to say or write before you begin. If you have identified your main theories or concepts, you might be able to express them with clarity and precision."

(from https://strengths.gallup.com/, from my personal report)

if you know me, what do you think? does that sound like me or what?

i bring this up now to tell you about this great weather site i enjoy. i hate storms. the weather is one thing that can really unnerve me. you know those people who love to sit on their front porch and watch a good lightning storm? yeah, i'll never be one of them. i also like to be prepared. i keep bandaids in my purse, a birthday card in my car, and extra toothburshes under the sink. you just never know. so, one of my daily rituals, and often the first thing i check in the morning, is weather.gov

in college, i was introduced to this site, run by the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. it is the most accurate and most updated weather site out there (MUCH more accurate than weather.com) and it is a blast to look at.

so when you go to their page, you type in your zip, and this screen comes up. and it has a plethora of information. from the 7 day forecast to the current barometric reading, you can always get a good idea on what the weather will be like and the true chance for precipiation or storms. my favorite part? the discussions. now these aren't like message boards where people can write stupid things. these are maintained by the meteorologists and contain thorough explinations of what is going on and what they think will go on in the immediate future.

now, you do have to learn the lingo, but as you can see, anything that doesn't make immediate sense is linked to a definition so you can learn where you go. i highly recommend this site, especially if you are a weather nut like me. there are many a nights when it is storming like crazy outside, and i whip out the laptop and take a peek- often comforted instantly by reading that it is just a small cell or perhaps just lacking in hail and tornadic potential.

so, enjoy. and may you never be caught without an umbrella again :)